I had one of those days today that really makes you wonder. Completely ridiculous and at the same time hilarious in a sad if- I- don't -laugh- I'll- cry kind of way. Here see what you think:
I got up early to load shop pictures on the blog. Izzy wanders into my office and tells me she would like to go to the movie/field trip the area playground was having. "Oh - okay. What time does the bus leave? "
"9:15"
"Honey. Its 8:25 and you aren't even dressed yet."
"Mom. I want to go. E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e is going. And you have to go there anyway. You have to sign me up for swimming in this afternoon."
"Swimming? Where's your bathing suit?"
"In my backpack with my towel from the pool party yesterday."
"Good. Great. Fabulous. Where's your other suit?"
"In the laundry."
"Oh, even better. Okay, get dressed we need to leave for the playground like 10 minutes ago.
Max walks in. "Mom - I'm late for work can you stick my bike in the back of your car and drive me halfway."
Heavy sigh. "Wow. Okay. You will have to take the big bin out of the car. Its veryheavy- it has all the patterns and binders for the new shop. Just stick it by the garage door."
Leave with Max. Get back to the house. Pile Izzy into the car with yesterday's wet bathing suit and a dry towel. Thinking to myself - I should put the bin in the car now. Ugh - too heavy no time.
Jump in the car, get to the playground. Sign up for the movie. Sign up for swimming. Hoping no one notices I haven't even showered yet. Kiss Izzy. Turn to leave.
"Mom- all the kids have snack money."
"Oh crud. Isabelle I didn't bring my purse & besides you don't need snacks."
"Well, I wouldn't need a snack if I had eaten breakfast."
No breakfast. Oh dear. That's right I was hunting down a dry towel to balance out the wet bathing suit.
"Um. Okay. Stay here. I will run to grandma's house. She will have money and she is right around the corner."
Race off to my mom's. Grab money. Arrive back at 9:16 just as the bus is boarding. Toss dollars at Izzy. Drive back home. See that big heavy bin near the garage. Nope - not lifting that right now. I need to shower.
Walk out of the house an hour later. Load the car for the shop. Turn to pick up the bin of patterns and it is EMPTY. Nothing there but an over sized plastic bin. I stood in complete and utter disbelief. What in the world just happened. I went in to the garage. No patterns. Walked back out. Empty bin. It took me about 10 seconds to process the scene and then I let out a cry of sheer panic.
" Its garbage day!"
The garbage men had my patterns. All of them. Along with some expensive fixtures and tons of binders. Gone.
I grabbed my cell and called David. I just needed to share my pain. Girls - we like to share. Guys - they like to fix:
"What do you mean all your patterns? That is a ton of money. Did you go after them?"
"Go after them? Like run after the garbage truck?"
"Yeah. "
"No, David. I didn't."
"Well, call them. They are probably all together in a pile in the truck. "
"You think I want them back?"
"Its money."
"Its a garbage truck. Waste removal. Refuse. RUBBISH. I'm not inclined to want patterns that have taken a spin around the block in a garbage truck."
"Well, you gotta call them. I'll call them." And with that I headed to the shop already late and quite frazzled. I got to the shop and my cell phone rang. It was David.
"Okay, I called. I told them it is theft and we will have the garbage truck impounded if we have to. They have your patterns and we want them back."
"No- we don't. We really do not want them back." I hung up and 10 minutes later he calls again.
"Okay, I am here with the police."
"The WHAT? And WHERE?"
"At the house - the scene of the crime. Now they need to know exactly what time the theft occurred."
"Wait - you called the police about my missing knitting patterns."
"Yes- you need a police report. Its theft. Now how much would you say they were worth? Oh - and the police want to know if you have witnesses."
"Witnesses. No. Sorry. No witnesses."
"Pam - the people who take swimming lessons down the hill - they might have seen something. We can get a list of names."
"David- I called you to cry. I called to have someone say it will be okay. Honestly, I don't think we need to interrogate the entire pre-school swim class about the great knitting pattern caper."
"Well, you're not giving me much to work with..."
Hours later, he finally did give up. And I went on with my day trying to be all zen about the missing patterns, etc. Its just stuff. Izzy mentioned tonight that if David really wanted to prove it was the garbage men, he could dust the empty bin for prints. I'd laugh but she said this just after telling me how she bought pretzel nuggets and cheese dip at the movies with the snack money. (She says snack money and I am instantly reminded of my morning where I was covered in sweat racing to my mom's then hustling back to the playground in record time). So she bought them and when she sat down to watch the movie, the whole pretzel cheese thing flipped up and landed right on the floor. Never even ate one of them.
I hope you had a good day. :)