Phew~ Is It Hot in Here?

Before I forget - we are going to open the shop Saturday, August 28th from 11 AM - 3 PM.    I am working on our September hours, but truthfully, we will probably operate on a part time basis until we get into the later part of September.   Right now my days are focused on plastic yellow folders with  horizontal pockets and brads , geometry calculators (the model that costs as much as it does to feed a family of 4 for a week) and the elusive 2-subject spiral notebook with a red cover .   'Tis the season.  If you haven't read my earlier postings on the back to school time, check out my older post:    Eye-of-the-hurricane

So...August...the dog days of summer.  Hot.  Humid.  I hate the heat consequently  I have cursed my husband who insists air conditioning is a waste of energy in this go green world.   Shoot he won't even let me sleep with a fan - can't hear the birds in the morning and it dries his eyes out.   Oh well, I usually muddle through.  After all,  it is Rochester and we only have 2.5 months of summer so why complain.

Ahhh but I have complained this summer.  Alot.  No air conditioning.  No dishwasher.  Plunging my hands into scalding water on a daily basis to disinfect and properly clean our cutlery.   Hot.  Everything  is  just *HOT*.   I chalked it all up to the season, the weather and our rustic life style choice void of any 20th century cooling technology.  And I might have continued to question my choice  of  fan hating  life partners if it weren't for Izzy.  Out of the mouths of babes - or in this case a 10 year old, came a revelation. 

It was the moment when the world suddenly makes sense.  Not that it is necessarily good sense or news you want but everything clicks and things become clear.   In my case, Isabelle spoke and I just  laughed.   Giggled because sometimes I am so oblivious.  How could I have missed it?   Why didn't I realize...all those signs.   Oh Man - the signs were like great big neon lights flashing above.  And yet I missed them. 

It wasn't until Izzy walked by me in the family room last night.   She walked by while   I was re- positioning myself  directly under  the ceiling fan.  The blades above in super sonic mode with another fan on the floor positioned  directly at my feet. 

 I was chugging Pellegrino water with ice, hair all propped up on my head in a silly little pony tail while typing on my laptop.   Izzy glanced once, then twice, then stood directly in front of me.

"Mom, you need to go to the doctor's."

"What?"

"Something is wrong  with you."

  "Izzy, I am fine."

"No, Mom, you're not."

"Isabelle."

"Mom- its freezing in here. "

"Isabelle, I am just a little warm tonight.  Please leave the fan alone."

"Mom, forget the doctor.  You need to go to the hospital.  It is  COLD in here.  What is wrong with you?"

What is wrong with me.  Wrong?  And in that instant, I knew. 

 It all came together.  NO.  Couldn't be...Why I am just ...I only turned ...50 in June.  Fifty. 

Hot.  Bothered.  Really hot.  Then fine.  Next thing I know I am looking for a freezer door to open. Anyone's freezer, but preferably a side by side where I can stick my entire torso close to the cooling source.  Hey, could it be?   HOT FLASHES!

And as I reached for a frozen paper towel ( I like to make them up ahead of time  in groups of 10),  I  tried to convince Izzy I would be fine.

"Its just ...well...it might be hormones."

"Doesn't sound good, Mom."

"Oh, Izzy - you know about hormones.  Its the same thing  that is helping you grow, get hips and that chest you want so badly..."

"Yeah..."

"Well, you reach a certain age and your hormones kick in again only its almost like they go in reverse."

Reverse.  Huh.  Maybe not the best analogy.  Certainly not the Mom moment I was going for.  From the look on her face, I could tell Izzy was wondering if that meant the chest she was trying so hard to grow would begin to  disappear at age 50.

As I tried to come up with a better  story for her - I started to replay the events of the last month.  How could I have missed this?

There are fans in every room.   We buy Pellegrino water by the case.  Something about the fizz seems to cool me down quicker.  Then there was the other night when I got so mad at David.   No fan.  He tried to tell me if I was perfectly still I could feel the breeze.  Right.  I  stomped my feet all the way to the kitchen, grabbed 2 lunch box ice packs from  the freezer and stuffed those suckers right  down the front of my camisole.   And once I got over the initial shock to my system, they seemed to do the trick.  Relief!  Actually slept like a baby.   Of course, the downside being no one wanted to use the ice packs in their lunch boxes the next day.

Then there was that night last week.   Again- too hot for me.  David woke up around 2:30 AM.   Oh, you know~  it must have been a great dream.  He  whispers my name.   There I am in a 126 degree fog.   Half sleeping,  half dreaming of  the Antarctic.   But I'm a light sleeper and I  heard his voice.  heard it and then in record time, I processed it:  middle of the night, David calling my name, whispering...Oh Heck No!   Immediately, my flight or fight mechanism kicked in.

Yep.  Even in sleep mode,  my mind did the math:  David =  MORE HEAT.   More heat? Yikes.   And the  More Heat was moving closer.   Time to act. This was self preservation in its purest form.  The goal ~ put lots of distance between myself and the heat source.   In other words, MOVE.

Okay, no time to be wishy washy, time to move, time to  ROLL OVER  and fast.  

THUD!   I did it.  I was safe.  Safe and ...sore?  Sore and ...on all fours.   Face flush against the hardwood floor with the clock radio beeping in my left ear.  As I lifted myself up,  David leaned over the side of the bed:

 "Okay - I am taking that as a 'No'."

Too funny how not one of these things seemed to register with me.  But it is happening.  I turned 50 and while all the magazines want me to believe 50 is really the new 30, the truth is 50 is mid-life.  Mid-Life and so far for me that means nature has turned up the heat.  

As I  explained to Izzy that I'd be fine and all this would pass.  I was really focused on just two things:  how quickly can David install air conditioning and when we can  order that  dishwasher?

Hey,  Happy 50th to me~

Comments

[Jeanne]

Something your family needs to understand is that if you are too warm and need to have a fan blowing over you, it is not their decision to deprive you of that! If they're cold, they can put on another layer, just as long as you are comfortable. Seriously, you are the queen, and they had better tip-toe around or reap the consequences of getting in your face.

Hopefully you reassured Izzy that the bazooms don't disappear, but no one and nothing escapes gravity.

And maybe Dave can now appreciate that a fan in the bedroom might benefit him as well. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

[Jeanninesims 1999]

Oh sweetie!! How we can relate, hang in there, you will love winter! ijs

[AmyV.]

Oh I'm right there with you, sister! This is why I love winter.